The least likely ending to a party, ever.


I got an email earlier today from our benevolent dictator of an editor, asking for more copy on this blog to keep giving our readers fresh content. I’m not prepared to put up my next addition to my NaNoWriMo novel yet, but I do have something from my own blog that I’d like to share over here.

This was the first story I ever posted, and it was quickly buried in my backlog where no one ever read it. I always felt it deserved a wider audience. It may be fiction:  I cannot say that this actually happened, but I suspect strongly it did. For a couple of summers I worked in a factory that cooked steel, and I heard this from a co-worker of mine who rarely spoke at great length, and never demonstrated having enough imagination to come up with this out of the blue.

Whatever truth there is to it, I’m sure I have embroidering the tale some, but that is the prerogative of a storyteller. It’s my story now, and I’ll tell it to you just as I would across a table, over a beer, in the back of my local watering hole.

This is the story of a party, a great party, and that party’s ending makes it one for the ages.

Continue reading “The least likely ending to a party, ever.”

And you thought last Sunday morning was rough?

Editor’s Note: Liz brings us a second tantalizing excerpt from her NaNoWriMo project Grindstone Baby. If you missed the first one, check it out too.

Waking up in a cluster of your own vomit on the orange shag carpet of some dude named Brian’s house was nothing compared to the rude awakening that my protagonist faces on a lovely April morning, some 7000 words into Grindstone Baby. The next several chapters turn into a macabre mash-up between The Hangover and Blue Velvet. But instead of a puppy-faced Kyle Maclaughlan, we have a sassy Toronto lesbian with a great German name to live vicariously through. Hope you like it! Continue reading “And you thought last Sunday morning was rough?”

Dear Fiend: March 6, 1975


Editor’s Note: The fast-developing saga of Dear Fiend: The Letters of Stoves & Yumyum continues with this rightfully bitter screed from 1975. It would seem that the first meeting between Tasty & Halton did not go well (to put it mildly), and the former felt the need to air certain grievances and commit the surreality of the occasion to permanence.

If you need catching up on this epic for the ages, start with the Editor’s Note and proceed to Tasty’s innocent introduction, followed by Halton’s seemingly innocuous reply.

Continue reading “Dear Fiend: March 6, 1975”

Day Two Update from Faceintheblue

I’m up to 6050 words, which isn’t a bad sum for two days of writing. That said, a lot of them need to be in a different order before I’d call them good.

I ran out of steam before I finished my chapter, but I like the direction it’s heading. Anyone ever read about a coup d’etat following a mammoth hunt?

You will soon…

NaNoWriMo criticism misses the point

Yesterday was my second worst NaNoWriMo opening day EVER. 802 mostly uninteresting words. Not a good way to start off. Luckily, it’s a long month.

And today, I read my first “NaNoWriMo is bad” blog post of the season. This one wasn’t an unreasonable criticism, though I have to admit that I got bored and didn’t actually finish reading. If you click the link, I apologize for linking to Salon.com. Their advertising is generally on the high end of obnoxious.

The general criticism of NaNoWriMo is that it plays up the fun part of writing, and glosses over the fact that you need do a lot of editing to end up with something that people really want to read. The vast majority of Nanoers will agree with this—you don’t go from November 30th to publication without a lot of work in between.

I know the NaNoWriMo website doesn’t like to bring this up. Who would take part if they kept reminding you that, even in the best case scenario, you’re looking at six to 12 more months of hard work before you get something that anyone might want to publish? So, instead, they promote the fun parts. The camaraderie, the excitement at finishing, the feeling of holding the printed manuscript in your hands for the first time…

But is publication really what NaNo is about? I’d argue that it isn’t, and never has been, and it’s nevertheless very worthwhile. Continue reading “NaNoWriMo criticism misses the point”

Day One: Fake Reviews

Against all medical advice, common sense, and concern for my well-being, I’ve decided to go ahead with the NaNoWriMo iPhone Challenge.

I didn’t feel like writing yesterday though, so instead I wrote a bunch of fake reviews to put on my book jacket when it gets published. Does this go towards my word count? Someone consult the official NaNo rules.

Anyways, here’s what I did instead of work on my novel: Continue reading “Day One: Fake Reviews”

Dear Fiend: February 29, 1975


Editor’s Note: Ah, now I see what these two are up to. Looks like Halton Stoves and Tasty Yumyum are doubleteaming NaNoWriMo this year. The forthcoming anthology Dear Fiend: The Letters of Stoves & Yumyum will undoubtedly be a joint work as its title suggests. In this installment, Halton replies to a fresh-penned young Tasty for the very first time. If you missed Tasty’s letter, check it out first.
Continue reading “Dear Fiend: February 29, 1975”

Bad Dreams, Ominous Phonecalls, White Noise

Gentle Reader,

The first day of NaNoWriMo is over, and I consider it an honour and a privilege to share my first page of Grindstone Baby with you all. You know those times when you’re so hungover or sick that you can’t get to sleep, and every noise in your apartment sounds gigantic, and the light from your alarm clock is practically tearing your eyes out? It’s terrifying! So terrifying, that I wanted to put this godawful experience on paper. The dream is intentionally sparse and cold, but it shall be revisited throughout the novel. Unless I fail miserably, of course. I hope you are at least somewhat intrigued by the next lines. Continue reading “Bad Dreams, Ominous Phonecalls, White Noise”

Dear Fiend: February 26, 1975


Editor’s Note: Tasty Yumyum recently introduced his new project, Dear Fiend: The Letters of Stoves & Yumyum. We’ve seen the tantalizing Editor’s Note, and now it’s time for the first letter in the collection. Here we meet a naive young Tasty, writing a friendly letter to Halton Stoves with no way of knowing the epic story he was setting in motion.
Continue reading “Dear Fiend: February 26, 1975”

Life Loves Death, Chapter One (Unedited First Draft)

Twenty-two hours into NaNoWriMo 2010, and I’m off to a roaring start with a word count of 2714! A quick trip to my calculator tells me that puts me 5.4% of the way towards my goal of 50,000 words in just 3.3% of my allotted time. I can feel the urge to go back and rework what I’ve done, and I know from past experience that that means I’m probably not going to get any new prose down on the virtual page today. As promised, I’m going to put up the first chapter here—unedited—for the interest of anyone who actually has enough free time to review it. I can’t promise to write the second chapter any time soon, but I imagine I will post other excerpts at some point during the month. For the sake of post-November readers of this blog, the full edited manuscript will be posted on my own blog sometime in December.

I’m feeling pretty good right now. The words are coming pretty easily. I’m sure there are many roadblocks (and writers’ blocks) ahead, but I made a good beginning. Enjoy!

Continue reading “Life Loves Death, Chapter One (Unedited First Draft)”

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